Readers’ Email

Jan 21, 2018

WEEK OF JANUARY 21, 2018

DEAR EUGENIA 

Dear Eugenia: I have been in a relationship for a little over five years. My partner is a Libra (born on Oct. 12, 1971). We both have a previous marriage; mine lasted 17 years and his 10. We met about four months after I left my ex-husband; however, my divorce took three years. My kids were in high school (15 and 16) when we met, but are now grown, and his were 6 and 8 (now 11 and 13). I don’t have any contact with my ex (Pisces, born on March 8, 1952) outside of occasional issues with our kids (very rare).

I have always felt my current partner has never fully severed the relationship with his ex (also Gemini, born on June 18, 1967) in order to ease the divorce/lifestyle disruption on their kids. They have a flexible arrangement where they both have the kids 50 percent. He has a key to “the house” and for a long time would just walk in whenever as if it were still his home. They still celebrate Christmas and birthdays together as a family. I feel their “arrangement” is giving his kids a false reality, and it’s stopping me from fully being accepted by them as their father’s partner in life.

This situation greatly affects our time together as a couple and makes planning difficult, not to mention I’m constantly waiting for him to be available. We love each other deeply, but managing all the other stuff has me feeling resentful, of his kids and his ex and even of him.

We have broken up several times, or tried to, but we can’t seem to make it final. I have a bit of freedom since my kids are grown, and he still has responsibilities. I wanted a partner in life, but now I’m feeling forced to wait until he catches up. I’m afraid if I leave him I will be walking away from the man I’m meant to be with.

I’m torn because I’m scared I am making the wrong decision if I leave, yet also feel that there could be so much more out there for me (I feel like we may even be holding each other back) and I could have a completely different life if I just allow it. Any thoughts? — Gemini

Dear Gemini: There is no doubt that you have a better astrological comparison with your Libra man than he has with his ex, but what you don’t have is the same history that they have with one another.

His ex may be a Gemini, but unlike you, she thinks like a Cancer. If you know anything about the Crab, home and family come first and foremost, and with her Moon in Scorpio, she isn’t about to let go of her children’s father until they are all grown up and living outside their paternal home.

Your partner, being a Libra, isn’t likely to fight his ex or deny his ex this right, so get used to it. The Scales like to keep the peace and are reluctant to make a decision unless pressed to do so.

Should you pressure him, he may make the adjustments you want, but before you do so, realize that as time passes he will resent you for giving him an ultimatum.

If you truly love this man, you are best to enjoy the time you have together and wait until his children go off to school.

Expect your ex to face some limitations and frustrations over the next couple of years and for his ex to be overly emotional. Unfortunately without the birth time for either one, I cannot be more specific.

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Dear Eugenia: I am in love for the first time in my life. He says he is in love with me and wishes things could be different, but he can’t carry on with me because of my past. His birthday is Aug. 6, 1971, and mine is Dec. 17, 1974, at 12 p.m. Do I wait or move on? — Sagittarius

Dear Sagittarius: You are dealing with a man who is capable of being misleading. His chart shows signs of self-deception as well as an ability to be dishonest with others. Not approving of something you have done in the past is probably an excuse. Given his chart, it’s likely he has other reasons for not wanting to be with you.

The comparison is not very good regarding emotional issues, and it is also apparent that the relationship doesn’t present opportunities for either one of you. You are best to let this one go and move on.

You are heading into your second half-life Saturn, and it’s important to evaluate your past and present and make changes that will help you get ahead personally and professionally. Focus on yourself, not chasing someone who can’t love you for who you are.

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Dear Eugenia: I was married to a Jamaican man. He was born on Nov. 4, 1961, and I was born on Jan. 1, 1961, at 12 a.m. I want to know if we are going to get back together. I think he may have married me in order to come to Canada, and since arriving he has gotten together with someone else. Is there any hope or should I move on? — Capricorn

Dear Capricorn: I can see the attraction between you and your Jamaican man, but there are warning signs that you should be aware of before you decide to sit and wait for him to come to his senses.

His chart denotes that he isn’t always honest or reliable and that he can be charming and quite convincing when it comes to getting what he wants.

He falls in an area of your chart that deals with Karma, and I believe although you do have a strong connection, it may also be one built on deception.

Physically you do have chemistry with this man, but aside from that this relationship I believe was intended to resolve past issues.

Without the other woman’s birth information, I cannot tell you if he is using her, but given his natal chart he probably is. Cut your losses, move on and put the past behind you.

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