Readers’ Email

Feb 19, 2017

WEEK OF FEBRUARY 19, 2017

DEAR EUGENIA 

DEAR EUGENIA: I’ve been struggling with a marriage and family situation for the past three years. I was born Oct. 17, 1955, at 6:30 a.m., and my wife of 31 years was born April 24, 1966. She was given up for adoption at birth and was adopted on my 10th birthday, Oct. 17, 1966 — coincidence?

My wife suffered through an emotionally abusive, horrible childhood and remains scarred to this day. Three years ago, she suffered an emotional nervous breakdown due to our daughter’s self-harm, suicidal issues. Our daughter was born April 13, 1999.

After the breakdown, she began acting like a teenager and became involved with another man (born March 20, 1969). She has an online alter ego that she uses to engage in online relationships as a 19-year-old; she spends all her home time glued to her phone.

She admits she’s a mess, but she will not get help and insists it’s all under control; however, where she once controlled the situation, it now controls her. All the good things she enjoyed in life have fallen by the wayside and now she has isolated herself. She insists she wants to stay married and loves me, but I am increasingly worried for her emotional and mental well-being and what, if any, future we can have together as husband and wife and as a family. — Worried Libra

DEAR WORRIED LIBRA: Without your wife’s time of birth, it’s difficult to be specific; however, having dealt with many mothers who have had a child like your daughter, I’m sure this has added to her inability to stay centered and under control, especially the past few years, given the transits going through her chart.

Your wife may be a stable Taurus by Sun sign, but she thinks and loves like a Pisces, and her chart consists primarily of mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo and Pisces, in particular). Transiting Saturn has not been her friend and will continue to plague her mentally, emotionally and physically until the end of the year.

With regard to her acting like a teenager and having a relationship with another man, this is not acceptable and denotes she does need outside help. You are best to begin with couple’s therapy using the excuse that you and your relationship need this just as much as she does.

Your wife’s comparison with the other man lacks on all levels. He was an opportunity for her to run away from the cold, hard facts that she faces at home dealing with a child she cannot save.

This brings me to your daughter. Without her time of birth, once again it’s difficult to assess her situation, but she does have some similarities in her chart to that of your wife’s, and she has been experiencing similar transits. Excessive behavior and overreacting, along with making poor choices has contributed to her current position. She has a very creative chart; however, without having a proper outlet, the only way she has found to express herself is with negative actions.

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DEAR EUGENIA: I have been stressed and heartsick, and I need your help! I have a friend who I grew up with, who I was reacquainted with in our 20s. At that time, I was married, and I still am.

We ended up seeing a lot of each other, and our feelings started to change from friendship to love. I had small children and did not want to hurt anyone, so I set my feelings aside and my friend moved away, and we did not see or talk to each other for 15 years.

He showed up at my door after all these years after having a horrific farm accident that I was not aware of. It left him unable to live alone, so he moved back home to be with his parents. After a lot of therapy, he found a job, and we began to see each other every day again as friends. My children were grown, but I still was with my husband.

My friend told me the reason he had moved was because he had fallen in love with me and did not want to disrupt and break up my family. He has now been back for six years, and it’s like we never lost touch. Our feelings for each other have grown stronger, and we are so in love and have no doubt that we are soul mates.

The problem is, he’s friends with my adult children and my husband; still, we want to be together forever. Is this possible without hurting everyone? I need your advice. Do we just do it and be happy with each other? At this point, I question it all the time and pray for the strength to see this through. He has not been with anyone but me and is a patient, kind, loving man. I know we are meant to be together, but I don’t see how this will ever happen for us. He was born Jan. 1, 1966, and I was born Dec. 2, 1961, at 12 a.m. — Sad Sagittarius

DEAR SAD SAGITTARIUS: This is a bad idea. The comparison with your Capricorn man is mediocre and shows signs of emotional deception. Yes, you are physically attached at the hip according to your planetary connections, but that is where it ends.

Unfortunately, you did not submit the data for your longtime husband and children, so I have no reference as to how you match up to your family or whether they might ever forgive you should you leave.

What I can offer you is this: Given your comparison is not the stellar soul connection you believe it is, I would not risk losing what you have and the history you’ve built with a loving husband and children who trust and believe in you.

Considering you have brought your Capricorn into your family as a longtime friend, it’s probably best that you keep it that way. I know that it’s difficult to put your feelings aside — especially when you are both heading into your second Saturn return and will be forced to re-evaluate your lot in life. For you, this will bring you face to face with uncertainty regarding your children as well as your relationship with both men in your life.

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DEAR EUGENIA: I am currently single, retired and living in a city that is freezing cold in the winter, and I just don’t think I can take it anymore. The last couple of years, I’ve been giving serious thought to moving to a more temperate climate outside of the United States. I have a location in South America that I am interested in.

Needless to say, this would be a major move for me, almost like starting over. My current plan is to relocate by late spring, early summer. I think I am most attracted by the new adventure aspect of it. Is this a good time for me to be considering such a major move and major change in my life? I was born July 17, 1955, at 4:02 a.m. — Freezing Cancer

DEAR FREEZING CANCER: Yes, it is an ideal time for you to relocate this spring or summer; however, the adjustment may be more taxing mentally, physically and financially than you anticipate, leaving you longing for some of the old familiarities that most Cancer people have trouble letting go of.

I get your desire to leave the cold behind you, but you may want to consider if you can swing it financially to spend the winter months somewhere warm and the summer months in your present location.

The same planetary movement that is ideal for relocating is also stellar for traveling or becoming a snowbird.

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