Readers’ Email

Dec 4, 2016

WEEK OF DECEMBER 4, 2016

DEAR EUGENIA 

DEAR EUGENIA: I’m an Aquarius, born Feb. 2, 1973, at 7:23 p.m. I’ve been married to a Sagittarius man (born Dec. 19, 1977) for six years. For most of these six years, we have lived apart.

On Aug. 12, 2016, I bought a house on my own, but I needed his signature to close on the house because we are married. I had to beg him, and he made me pay him to be there. Everything seemed OK for a while, until he recently asked me to co-sign a vehicle loan for him to get his business going. I asked him, “What’s in it for me?” He went crazy, telling me he was going to recant his signature on my house — I know this isn’t possible, it’s just the fact that he is threatening me.

My husband said he’s been waiting for years to get back at me for what I did to him. He spent six years in prison before we got married, and I wasn’t always at his beck and call. When he got out, I had a feeling he was toying with me, but now he has admitted it. We have no children together and no martial property to split. I need to know what to be prepared for. He has threatened me with lawyers and such. Do I need to get ready for a battle? He was diagnosed as a sociopath in his last stint in prison. — Questioning Aquarius

DEAR QUESTIONING AQUARIUS: There are signs of malevolence and contempt that show up in your comparison with your ex, especially when he is backed into a corner. Until he finds someone else to bully or take advantage of, I’m afraid you are probably the one he will pick on.

He is heading into a year that will be difficult, limiting and could even push him back into an institution if he isn’t careful; however, you don’t want to be a part of the reason that happens.

If you sign for his car loan, you will face financial difficulty in a few years. Right now, you are coming out of your second half-life Saturn, which means you have been re-evaluating your position, home and professional interests as well as your status and potentially getting involved romantically.

If you don’t stop the bullying now, it will continue to come back at you. Surround yourself with people who offer support. Put a restraining order against him if necessary, and as soon as you can, get him off the title of your house.

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DEAR EUGENIA: I am a Pisces, born March 6, 1979, at 4:54 a.m. I have been with my boyfriend (an Aries born April 12, 1974) a total of 10 years. He broke up with me after our first year together because of my fear of intimacy and excessive drinking. We remained friends for two years after that, having fun spending low-key time together and messing around a little. When the recession came about, he moved into my house due to us both having financial difficulties, and we have been living together for the last seven or eight years.

After a while, I became rather unimpressed with him as a boyfriend because of his laziness and lack of ambition outside of work. Therefore, I sought a very active social life with my friends away from him, and I kept my two worlds separate. We fought and argued due to his constant criticism of me. I became guarded and less attracted to him over time, and I stopped wanting to be intimate, which further destroyed our relationship. I recently suggested ending things and him moving out. Since then, we have both been incredibly sad. He is still looking for the right place to live, but he does not want to move out or let me go. Everyone assures me I am making the right decision. If this is the right decision, why do I feel such hesitancy? Please guide me on how to deal with this matter of the heart. We are best friends and soul mates of some sort. We have been loyal to each other for all this time, despite the destruction, and have this crazy connection to each other. Am I making the right decision? — Petrified Pisces

DEAR PETRIFIED PISCES: You are doing the right thing from the standpoint of cutting him free. Your comparison is more like a friendship, not an intimate connection. Staying with him for the wrong reason will not solve the problem. You both need some time and space, and hopefully at some point you will be able to resume your friendship.

The fact that you were both loyal shows that you do respect and care for each other, but that obviously isn’t enough. He is facing his second half-life Saturn next year, which will cause him to re-evaluate and make changes where his friendships are concerned as well as the way he lives and where.

He falls in an area of your chart that deals with friendship and learning. I think you have discovered all you needed to know from this relationship, and it’s time for you to move on. The upcoming year should be spent enjoying the activities and events that stoke you and exploring new intimacies with partners who offer support and equality, not criticism and laziness.

As for your Aries man, he needs to explore, rebuild and most of all, move on.

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DEAR EUGENIA: My husband (born Sept. 6, 1971) has placed me in the most precarious situations with his business dealings for the last nine years. I am concerned for my safety as well as his. I have resolved that after years of being on this course, he is not going to change. I do not believe in being negative or a quitter in anything, especially my marriage, but I feel it is time for me to move on alone. I am filing for divorce, and as I plot the course for my new life, I would like to know that a better day is on the horizon for me. I was born Nov. 11, 1968, at 10:30 p.m.

Any insight regarding my future would be most appreciated. Will I have peace and joy again soon? For safety purposes, I need to move, but I’m not sure how I can as I rebuild financially. Career-wise, I want to work solely as a freelance graphic designer, although I love my current job of a traffic coordinator with a sports organization. Lastly, will my husband be safe? — Scorpio on the Move

DEAR SCORPIO ON THE MOVE: It saddens me to see a relationship so right go so wrong. Your comparison shows the makings of a connection few people start out with. That being said, I do have to include that your husband’s chart on its own does show many weaknesses, and all that has come to a head the past two years while he experienced his second half-life Saturn.

In his defense, this has created a hole for him where his relationship with you as well as with his friends, relatives and peers have been damaged to the point of no repair. He was born with a tendency to exaggerate and not be completely honest about what he is doing or how things are going. Unfortunately, when people do that, others suffer. For him it has come to a head, and the price must be paid.

As for you, opportunity has kicked into your chart and will remain with you for a couple of years. Until the fall of next year, you should make a move away from your current geographical location, pick up additional skills, apprentice or pursue higher education, and the following year, the chance to get ahead professionally and rebuild your personal life and home look promising.

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