SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2018
DEAR EUGENIA by Eugenia Last
DEAR EUGENIA: I see no future or help in sight. I was born Sept. 27, 1955, time unknown. I lost my job unexpectedly in August of this year and have had no luck finding another one. My former boss was a narcissistic, selfish Cancer born July 10, 1958, time unknown. He was very domineering, and even though I could never work for him again, I have no money, have gone days without food and don’t know how I am going to survive. I am very afraid. I feel it is all over and see no way out. Any insight?– Libra
DEAR LIBRA: Your relationship with your boss was deep-seated. He has a problem with women and emotional sensitivity. He is deceptive and disillusioned regarding male-female relationships, which probably stems from his relationship with his mother and how his mother and father got along. That is, however, neither here nor there at this point.
Your chart indicates this has not been the best work year for you with transiting Saturn adversely affecting an area of your chart that deals with professional gains and your personal ability to get ahead. This transit will lift as we head into January, giving you a better chance to find employment.
On the positive side, between now and the end of the year your chart is favorable for interviews, learning new skills and part-time work that will help get you through until you find permanent work. The possibility of making a move or change of residence mid-December is also apparent. This could be an offer from a friend or relative willing to help you until you get back on your feet.
Beginning this November, transiting Jupiter has moved into a position in your chart that will bring greater opportunities your way. This will continue to be with you until the fall of next year, allowing greater opportunities to come your way.
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DEAR EUGENIA: I am writing about my deceased husband. He was born July 16, 1976, and died Feb. 22, 2014, of a very unexpected death. We were together almost 10 years, and it was a very up-and-down relationship. He was an alcoholic, which put a strain on our marriage. The day he died we had a fight. I told him I hated him and said I wanted a divorce. Those were the last words I spoke to him. I didn’t hate him. I hated how the alcohol made him. I have so much grief and guilt about his passing.
We always said if one of us died that the other needed to move on. I’m now seeing a man born Sept. 21, 1980. He’s wonderful and our life together is perfect, but I can’t help feeling guilty for loving again. I need my deceased husband to know how much I still miss him. He left a hole that will never be filled and a love that will never be replaced. I need to know he is at peace, and I hope he is still with me in some way. — Lost Love
DEAR LOST LOVE: Your deceased husband’s death was not your fault, and he wouldn’t want you to let your guilt filter through into your current relationship. That would be a travesty, because you appear to have a better connection with your new partner. It’s been almost five years, and it’s time you move forward.
Your chart indicates next year will be one of greater stability, especially in your personal and home lives. Please don’t deny yourself the joy a good relationship can offer. At the same time, the upcoming year will cloud your vision with some doubt and uncertainty due to similar signs you see in someone close to you or in yourself that you saw in your late husband. Be sure to put an end to such problems immediately instead of putting up with them until it’s too late.
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DEAR EUGENIA: I have been married for almost 37 years. My relationship with my husband (born Jan. 15, 1956, at 11 a.m.) has never been what I would like it to be. I have reached out to you a couple of times, and your guidance has helped me. I am hoping you can help me this time as well.
We have two daughters (older was born on April 21, 1983, at 8:31 a.m. and the younger was born on Feb. 7, 1991, at 4:27 a.m.). He lives and works in California, and I live and work in Boston. After a really rocky several years (2008-2013), we had a good stretch. I felt we were united as a couple and as partners.
Our girls always suggest I have wronged them, yet he can never do anything wrong. During the rocky period, I worked on bettering myself as a person and as a mother. I also went back to school and got my master’s degree. Mid-2013 onward, I felt like all four of us were finally a family.
Since December 2017, when I visited my husband in California, I nagged him about something stupid. That totally set him off. I admit it was my fault. But since then, our relationship is now back to the rocky, meaningless relationship. He has said mean, spiteful and hurtful things to me.
My girls have withdrawn from me and have stopped calling me. Since I pay the phone bill and can see who calls who and speaks for how long, I can see he and the girls are talking for hours. I feel extremely hurt. Although the girls were not responding to me, I was still texting them and emailing them just to say “I miss you, I love you,” which I really do. Recently I mentioned to my husband about how they talk on the phone. Since then, he came up with the idea to use an app to communicate with the girls so I would not be able to monitor their calls. He says I make the girls anxious, and this was his idea to see if their anxiety could be relieved if they knew I wasn’t monitoring their phone activities.
I think this is an excuse. His behavior is very vindictive. He thinks I deserve this. The three of them are now a family that I am not part of.
In an answer to one of my previous questions, you had mentioned his chart indicates he is experiencing a transit that can cause him to overreact or make poor decisions. You said this has been in effect since the fall of last year and will lift off as we head toward the end of the year. Can the damage he has done by conspiring with the girls ever be undone? Will I ever have peace?– Sad Sagittarius
DEAR SAD SAGITTARIUS: You are correct, the Jupiter transit I mentioned in the past has just moved on and begun to make its journey through the constellation Sagittarius, where it will remain until the fall of next year. Although this will temper the overreactions by your daughters and husband, it will be reversing the tables, causing you to be the one who will have that tendency. At least by knowing this, you can take control and refrain from letting your emotions take over.
You and your husband have a difficult relationship when it comes to contracts such as marriage. With transiting Saturn moving through this area of your chart as well this past year and remaining there for the next year and a half, it’s important you protect yourself financially, contractually and most of all, don’t overreact or you will suffer loss.
You need to spend more time with your husband if you are going to resolve your issues or terminate the relationship. You will need to address issues with your children as well. Your oldest daughter matches up to both you and your husband equally. However, her chart also shows anger with regard to her relationship with you and a false, disillusioned relationship with her father. A heart-to-heart talk with her between March and July as well as December of next year could be in order.
Your astrological connection with your younger daughter appears to be a little better than it is with her father. She is undergoing a lot of uncertainty, making it vital you stay in communication with her and nurture this relationship as best you can. Her relationship with you overall has been strict and detached in the past and judged mainly by observing your relationship with her father.
Start trying to mend what’s happened to your family by showing patience, understanding and the willingness to compromise. Your relationship with your husband shouldn’t be one that divides the family. Communication, truth and honesty must prevail. In the end, your daughters must know and understand both sides of their parents’ history, and they should never be put in a position to choose sides.
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